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A commitment to living from the heart.

Hello love

Earlier this year, I committed to myself, my work, and now apparently to you, that I would live the rest of my life, courageously, unapologetically, and probably a little bit crazily, from the heart.

This way of existing in the world defies logic, it doesn't make sense in the materialistic world we inhabit. Let's face it, it is probably not going to make me a millionaire, but it's a decision that I know will support me throughout my entire life.

When I feel things, I feel them deeply (relate?). This commitment to my heart is a non-negotiable full-bodied agreement that I have made about the way I want to show up, first of all to myself, and to others as a result, and with practice, eventually, it will be a natural way to perceive all of life, which my children will inherit one day...

When I operate from my heart I feel more connected to my true nature, I feel more peaceful, aligned, and authentic... I feel more human, more alive, food tastes better when I put my heart into it, sex feels better when I put my heart into it, my yoga practice feels like an intimate ride between myself and my body, even going to the shop and doing the mundane, when done, with heart, just feels like pure bliss.

It's like deciding to put a filter of love over your perception, sounds beautiful I know...

This is not a new age idea, as shown below ancient Egyptian mythology has the well-known story that at the end of our lives our heart is weighed against a feather...

But (Why does there always have to be a but?) there is always a caveat my love, we live in a dual world of darkness and light, I know that's not your true nature, but it's the game we are in. The heavy caveat to this is that it is also excruciatingly painful. If living purely from the heart was easy, everyone would be walking around in a bubble of love. The truth is, when you commit to living from the heart, to crack it open, to listen to it, you become aware very quickly of how sensitive it is. When you open your heart with trust in life and love, you risk the chance of getting hurt. To live with no walls up, you also expose yourself to inevitable pain. When we get hurt it often hardens us, it's our natural response to protect ourselves, and it's our instinct. We close up because being hurt makes us feel like we cannot trust ourselves to love anymore, it simply makes us too vulnerable. To our instinctive, primal mind, vulnerability equals death.

And, guess what? (silver lining incoming), yes, we have instincts, but we also have one wonderful source of human potential that seems to separate us from the majority of the animal world. A function called metacognition - the awareness of our awareness, or you could say, thinking about thinking. This function enables us to potentially override our instincts, so with training, and practice, we can respond to pain and fear differently, and extend far beyond our innate survival mechanisms. We can open up to a new perspective, towards a more expanded level of consciousness. This gave rise to the question:

What if the pain in our hearts doesn't harden us, but with practice, can soften us even more?

What if we just choose love, even when we are heartbroken? We choose love again and again. What if we allow ourselves to love and be heartbroken? Or we change our relationship to heartbreak entirely because when we remove the ego's desire to make someone wrong and put down our pointing fingers, we see that our aching heart shows us our humanness and the love that we are capable of feeling.

This radical perspective has had a wild and intense effect on my entire life. I am very new to this, so by no means have I cracked the love code. But I noticed almost immediately the impact it had on the depth of my relationships both friendship and romantic. From this perspective all relationships and encounters are incredibly meaningful, loving, and powerful, at least that is how I experience them. My most recent heartache was a short story that was not a serious relationship, but I went in with an open heart, courage, trust, and maybe a little bit of expectation (my bad). I mean, he is a wonderful human, and I knew I had the potential to get hurt, but I decided to love fully anyway. By loving fully I mean giving another, presence, attention, kindness, and being entirely open-hearted, not holding anything back, sharing your vulnerabilities, and practicing transparency. To love like it is unlimited...because it is. So when he ended it, I felt that feeling, you know the one, the exact opposite feeling to the one above of pure love and lightness, it's similar to physical pain, it hurts the chest, it paralyzes you..ouch! I remembered why most people close up or hold some of themselves back when they like someone, and why I had closed up in the past.

But I wasn't going to this time...

It ended and allowed myself to dive deep into the feeling, to be consumed by it, to let it crush me. I gave myself the space and time to allow every emotion I had inside to surface, and to be expressed. Self-enquiry, to know myself, is the reason I am here on earth, so I dove deeper and gained insight into the pain I was feeling. I observed the different layers, parts, and textures of it. Some of the pain was from the loss of the fantasy. Since meeting him, I sought comfort in my mind by imagining the future, a future story that gave me a sense of safety and masked the reality of discomfort of the uncertainty in my life (all of which I have created through my life choices I might add). There was also a layer of pain from the shock, it took me by surprise, like someone sneaking up on you when you are asleep. Then of course the ego was in pain the most, (yep my ego is still as mighty as ever) feeling rejected is probably the ego's worst nightmare.

But by looking at my pain, seeing what was there, feeling it all deeply, and permitting myself to go with it. I didn't pretend to be strong or allow pride to mask my heart even more, I just surrendered to it, it's like saying "Ok pain, you win", (knowing you are both on the same side). You have to reason with your pain, be gentle with it, be compassionate, and give it space. After that part, it is almost miraculous how the pain subsides and transforms into acceptance of what is, and eventually appreciation for what has been, and a return to love. When we have dealt with our pain it becomes thank you that it happened, rather than I am sorry that it is over...

How liberating is that?

From a place of clean, integral healing, you can allow yourself to remain open. You can reserve the desire to close up your heart and block yourself from love. Maybe you can even be proud of yourself, for the way you showed up, with courage.

The ultimate, lifelong love we have is with ourselves, and through every story, you get to witness yourself as a lover, you get to see how you show up with presence. If everyone is a mirror then our lovers are here in our lives to reflect the love we are back to us, to show us the love we are capable of feeling and accessing, so if you feel love, it's yours to feel, no matter who is in front of you showing you that...

So love, love bravely, love boldly, love with the absolute certainty that your heart will get broken eventually but it will be so worth it, every time if you go through it fully, and release it gracefully.

Speaking of Grace...

First of all, we are not angels my love, otherwise, we would be in heaven with the Gods not on earth with the apes. When we are hurting, it takes an enlightened being to show the utmost grace. So don't worry if you lose your shit from time to time. But if we can practice letting things go with as much grace as we can, that grace is a declaration of your faith in what is coming.

Think about it like this. If your car broke down, but you KNEW you were getting another one a few days later, would you cling on to the old car? Would you say it's not fair that your car has failed you - No of course not, you would be like, ah I am expecting a new one soon anyway.

(Yes I did just compare love to a vehicle, but you get my point...)

This is how we can choose to respond when people or circumstances leave our lives. Yes it is unfortunate, but something else is coming, we just cannot see it yet, and that is what makes life so exciting!

Leading a heart-centered life requires courage but it also gives it back to us tenfold.

To live from our hearts invites people into our vulnerability, which strengthens our relationships, it encourages friends and family to step in and show us love. It builds our connections and gives those who love us a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives, that we can often be too busy to recognize. Through vulnerability we increase our capacity to feel more love, this week I even felt inspired to invite a group of people to a FREE workshop about the heart, to give something back to my community and share through my vulnerability. (You can access this here).

What I have noticed after feeling this sense of grief in my heart, is a strong amount of motivation, witnessing my ability to hold and transform uncomfortable feelings makes me feel powerful. I got to witness the resilience we have as human beings, which increases the love and admiration we have for ourselves. So, rather than suppressing or avoiding these emotions, living from the heart encourages us to explore our roots, to drop our egos, and offers an opportunity for profound self-discovery and growth.

My love, living from the heart is a courageous and transformative journey that encompasses the full spectrum of human experience. It's an acknowledgment that discomfort is a natural part of life, and by facing it with grace and compassion, we can learn, grow, and deepen our connection with ourselves and others. As we embrace a heart-centered life, we find strength and wisdom in navigating the ebb and flow of our emotions, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and authentic existence.

Don't take my word for it, try it for yourself!

And count on your loved ones to pick up the inevitable pieces, because that is what they are there for.

From my heart to yours,

All my love


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